Alphabetical Afterthoughts
by TheWitchNextDoor
Summary: 26 letters; 26 words; 26 drabbles detailing Starscream's thoughts on what the war has cost him and the mech he has become. (Rated for minor violence and small amounts of profanity.)


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Transforms or any of its characters.

 **Warning:** These drabbles contain mentions of violence and abuse, and one mention of the Cybertronian equivalent of alcohol. They are largely Prime based but possibly contain elements from other verses. There are no pairings or OCs. I swear like, twice.

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 **Aberrant**. Starscream was a scientist. He was meant to achieve great things, to usher Cybertron into the next great age. His Creators had always firmly assured him he had a destiny, an important role to play. But Megatron had come, and his Creators were long since dead. He was no longer a scientist. Starscream was just another pawn _. Deviating from the proper course._

 **Bereft**. Starscream thought of them often. It was impossible not to. Their absence left his spark feeling cold and hollow; the weak bond was a raw, constant ache. Megatron had banned the use of their name aboard the Nemesis; Starscream could become rather unstable when they were brought up. He kept himself sane by reminding himself he'd see them again some day, no matter how long it took. _Deprived of something; lacking something needed or expected; suffering the death of a loved one._

 **Cabal**. Truth be told, Starscream had become disenchanted with the Decepticons far early than anyone expected. Vos had been destroyed; his people had been decimated; Cybertron was dying. He had been more subtle, and more sane, in his early days. He'd stirred up a little dissention in the ranks, looked the other way a few times, and waited patiently for them to make their move. Everyone who had acted against Megatron had been brutally terminated. It was vorns before Starscream tried again. _A conspiratorial group of plotters or intriguers; a secret scheme or plot._

 **Dearth**. Energon had been plentiful before the war. Life may not have been easy for everyone, but starvation had never been a threat. Until more energon was being spilt or stolen away than ingested. Until the battles consumed the planet so entirely the core went cold, the mines were stripped bare. Only the factions had energon, then. So you served, or you starved. Neutrality and deserters were eliminated by famine _. A scarce supply; an inadequate amount; a shortage of food; a famine._

 **Evanescent**. Starscream wasn't sure how he had ended up here anymore. The mech he used to be wouldn't recognize who he was now. Where had his confidence gone? His pride? Where was the mech who had boldly joined a war to overthrow a harsh and unfair government? He was losing track of himself, disappearing little by little, and he didn't know if he could ever find himself again. _Vanishing or likely to vanish like vapor._

 **Fustigate**. Starscream had long grown used to the tirades of Lord Megatron. The warlord seemed incapable of feeling anything but passionate fury and hatred anymore. He took the criticism and the verbal abuse with semi grace and a lot of sarcasm. He expected it. The first blow had come as a shock. He'd figured it was stress, it wouldn't happen again. Then it did, and he figured it wouldn't happen often. Now he just expects it. _To beat with a club; cudgel; to criticize harshly._

 **Gehenna**. As a mech of science, Starscream had never spared too much thought to matters of religion. He wasn't I'll informed on the matter, of course, nor was he s nonbeliever per say. He remembered all the tales he'd learned as a youth in Vos. It was just that he found more interest in the tangible than he did the mythical. He had never thought much on what happened after death. Being onboard the Nemesis had long solidified his thoughts on the afterlife. The Pit had to be real, because he was living in it. _A place or state or torment or suffering; the above of damned souls; hell._

 **Halcyon**. Sometimes he sat in his berth and remembered what Cybertron had looked like from the sky. He remembered the golden city of Iacon, the shimmering elegance of Crystal City, the spires of Vos reaching into the clouds. He remembered when he used to think all that beauty and peace were real, and he longed for blissful ignorance. _Calm and peaceful; tranquil; prosperous; golden._

 **Ichor**. Energon dripped steadily from his cracked noseplate. Starscream kept one servo against the wall for support as he stumbled down the hall, and the other pressed to his face. It did nothing to staunch the flow, so he lowered it to stare at the glowing pink liquid. His thoughts flashed to the shard of dark energon piercing Megatron's spark. Blood of Unicron, they called it. So could he even call this lifeblood his? Blood of Primus. He didn't like the sound of that much either. Starscream curled his servo into a fist and kept wobbling on towards the medbay. _The rarefied fluid said to flow through the veins of the gods; a watery, acrid discharge from a wound._

 **Jejune**. Life on the Nemesis was never pleasant. When it wasn't violent and miserable, it was . . . boring. A handful of mechs and a score of drones who were taught to crush or hide their individuality. When they weren't fighting or planning to fight, there was nothing. The life of a Decepticon was, more often than not, empty. _Dull; empty; lacking in nutrients._

 **Kakistocracy**. Most bots had forgotten that in the beginning, Decepticons had joined the war to fight for a noble cause. The caste system had been unfair, and they had just wanted their freedom. Most cons had forgotten they were now fighting to put a new dictator in place of the one they had sought to overthrow. _Government by the worst or least qualified citizens._

 **Loathsome**. Starscream had never been an especially agreeable mech. He made enemies easily, and he was aware of this. But never in all of his life had he ever hated someone with the intensity he hated Megatron. The mech was a liar, a bully, an abusive, cruel, twisted being who was slowly losing his grip on sanity. He had crossed one too many lines, and someday Starscream was going to make him pay for that. _Arousing loathing; abhorrent._

 **Maudlin**. No one on Earth really knew Starscream. They all knew of his reputation, of who he was in front of Megatron. But there were so many aspects to his personality that would surprise the mechs around him. No one knew, for instance, that he was a dreadfully sentimental. Autobots and Decepticons alike would surprised to know he owned a snowglobe that reminded him of Crystal City, a toy jet the same color as the first love he couldn't save, a holocube stocked with images of his trinemates. He looked at them every now and then, and he remembered why he had to keep fighting, no matter how often he lost. _Effusively or tearfully sentimental._

 **Nepenthe**. Highgrade was a difficult thing to come by nowadays, but Starscream was both resourceful and cunning. Megatron didn't like his troops getting, as the humans called it, wasted. Starscream couldn't bring himself to give a damn, especially not with the fuel warming his insides and making his processor fuzzy. He rarely got the opportunity to forget his pain, and so he was damn well going to take this one. _A drug mentioned in the Odyssey as a remedy for grief; something that induces forgetfulness of sorrows or eases pain._

 **Ostentatious**. Starscream was constantly vying for the attention of everyone around him. They thought he was vain, narcissistic, pathetic, and okay, maybe he was those things, but there was more to it than that. No one understood that he needed praise. He needed someone to tell him he was great, or good, or even okay. He needed to be told that he was worth something, because no one ever said that Megatron's treatment of him was wrong. _Intended to impress people or attract their attention, in a way you think is extreme and unnecessary; always trying to impress people with how rich, important, skillful, etc, you are._

 **Paucity**. With the destruction of Vos, their numbers had been decimated. In the following vorns, the survivors had either offline or scattered to the stars. Starscream could count on his servos the number of Seekers he'd seen since they'd left Cybertron. His people were dying, and Starscream couldn't deny the role he'd played in their destruction. _Smallness in number; fewness; scarcity; dearth._

 **Quidnunc**. Starscream would always maintain that he would have overthrown Megatron long ago if it Soundwave wasn't the nosiest gossip he'd ever met. _A busybody, a nosy person._

 **Reverberate**. When you are part of a trine, you are never alone. There are always voices echoing in your professor and emotions tugging at your spark that are not yours, but are just as much a part of you as your own. When you are separated from them, without the familiar presence reverberating through your spark, you are empty in a way that cannot be imagined. _To resound in a succession of echoes; to have a prolonged or continuing effect._

 **Senescence**. Starscream was tired. His joints ached from constant damage and repair. His processor was haunted by the things he had seen. The things he had done were wearing on his sanity. He had passed emotionally exhausted long ago; he was more of an emotional coma case now. Starscream was young, but this war had made him old. _Growing old; aging._

 **Threnody**. Starscream had not sung in mourning for many vorns. Too many Vehicons came and went for him to bother. He certainly hadn't mourned when he thought Megatron dead. So it had surprised both of them when he had approached Knock Out and sang for Breakdown's death. They also both agreed never to speak of it again. _A poem or song of mourning or lamentation._

 **Usurp**. Starscream had, on numerous occasions, lead the Decepticons in Megatron's absence. Always he had held them together, and always he had been tossed aside upon Megatron's return. Starscream wasn't discouraged. Megatron was larger than life, but the bigger they are, the harder they fall. _To seize and hold by force; to take over or occupy by right._

 **Volatile**. Starscream had honestly surprised himself when he offlined Cliffjumper. Not that he hadn't killed plenty of mechs before; he just hadn't been intending to do so at that moment. One wrong word from the Autobot and Starscream's servo had been plunging into his chassis of its own accord. He had always been impulsive, but he had to wonder; when had he lost control of himself? _Tending to violence; explosive; flying or capable of flying; volant._

 **Wanderlust**. Sometimes he wanted to leave it all behind. He would look up at the sky and feel an overwhelming need to fly somewhere he'd never been before. Somewhere untouched by the war. Sometimes he was just so sick of never moving forward. _A strong, irresistible urge to travel._

 **Xenogenesis**. It was strange to think the future of an entire race relied on something so . . . tiny. The first sparklings to be born on Earth would grow up so differently than their creators. Starscream hoped that meant they wouldn't make the same mistakes. _A generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent._

 **Yeoman**. Starscream had been loyal once. He didn't much like to think of those days, when he'd been a starry eyed youth with dreams of fame and heroics, fighting the way up to the top. Megatron hadn't made him second in command for the hell of it, you know. _An attendant, servant, or lesser official in a royal or noble house; a diligent, dependable worker._

 **Zugzwang**. Starscream was aware he was truly and royally fragged. No matter which way he turned or what side he chose, he was going to lose. He was enemy and traitor to everyone. All he could do was make a decision, and hope it lead to the least amount of pain. _In chess, being unable to move without sustaining a significant loss._

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I have decided word drabbles are very fun to write. If you suggest characters or pairings I might do one of these for them maybe. This one happened because I'm an insomniac. Reviews would be nice.


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